Xmastime

Xmas is upon us. Now that it's celebrated by anyone that wants to, we can call it whatever we want. How about "a random day on which Jesus really was NOT born"? It's kind of catchy, but entirely too long. Xmas is fine.

So today's question is: What do you get for the ignorant bigot who has everything?

The American Family Association has plenty of ideas for your exact needs. How about the illuminated cross? With the big Obama win a few weeks ago those southern Christians are realizing that they really need to get back to their Klan roots. But in this day and age, burning real crosses is so messy, inconvenient and bad for the environment. For a "suggested donation" (I checked, it's mandatory) of $81.85 you too can display your Confederate pride for all the world to see.

For the kids, how about a copy of Ben Stein's Expelled? It's a steal at a suggested donation of $26.99 (and I mean that - they're stealing your fucking money). It's sure to be a hit with those kids who never wanted to go to school and do anything with their lives anyway.

This seems to be the season for DVD's. The AFA has an enormous selection to choose from - you can order all of them and snuggle with the family on Christmas night to revel in your hatred for homosexuals. Some are warnings about what gays can do to your community and others are how they can directly affect you when you're using your "free speech" to show that you're a prejudiced asshole. This one (not "that one") even shows you how to vote and keep those homosexuals down.

Maybe next year they'll finally have a manger scene with a gay man hanging from the rafters. You'll know he's gay from the Birkenstocks and rainbow t-shirt he'll be wearing. Devil horns and pink feather boa sold separately.

'Tis the season to show your Christian (or is that Xian?) values and spread the ignorance and hate. Being an atheist and humanist it wouldn't be right for me to do that. I'll just have to donate my money to evil organizations like this one, this one, and this one. Sorry, Santa - looks like I'll be getting coal this year.